30 08, 2019

Saturday Evening Post column: How to Let Go of Fear of Failure

By | August 30th, 2019|Categories: Saturday Evening Post|Tags: , , , , , , |0 Comments

The Saturday Evening Post published my most recent column, How to Let Go of Fear of Failure. Fear of failure is epidemic in our culture among children and adults alike. This essay explores the debilitating effect that fear of failure can have on people. It also offers advice on ways that people can let go of [...]

7 01, 2014

5 “Dangerous” Things Parents Should Do to Their Children

By | January 7th, 2014|Categories: Parenting|Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , |3 Comments

I thoroughly enjoyed Gever Tully’s TED video of “5 Dangerous Things You Should Let Your Kids Do” and agree with his thesis that parents these days are far too protective of their children. Paradoxically, in parents’ well-intentioned attempts at protecting their children from harm, they actually leave them less prepared for the real dangers that your kids will face later in life. I also concur that exposing kids to a little danger can be beneficial to their development. Exposure to what are for them risky experiences, such as using power tools, fire, or a pocket knife, can build confidence, resilience, competence, respect, and responsibility, as well as develop cognitive, emotional, and motor skills that will help children as they transition into adulthood. Of course, it’s easy for Mr. Tully to make this argument when he doesn’t have kids; he doesn’t have the hard-wired “protect your children to ensure their survival” instinct kick in at the first sign of danger. Though exposing children to Mr. Tully’s tangible dangers offers many benefits, I would argue that the dangers that he wants you to expose them to are far less threatening than they actually are because the potentially harmful consequences are immediate and will surely be mitigated by a watchful—though hopefully not overly intrusive—parent. In contrast, I would suggest that you can do five things to your children that are far more “dangerous,” yet will have a far greater impact on them as they develop.

7 10, 2013

Do You Send “Dark” Messages of Love to Your Children?

By | October 7th, 2013|Categories: Parenting|Tags: , , , , , , , , |0 Comments

Of course you love your children and would never consciously reward your children with love and attention when they, for example, first sit up or walk, score their first goal, or get an A on a school test, or punish their failures with anger or rejection. The challenge is to become aware of the unconscious, [...]