The start of the ski racing season is exciting, stressful, and emotionally charged—not just for racers, but for their parents too. Early races bring expectations, comparisons, and questions that can quietly shape how a season unfolds. Often, at a conscious or unconscious level, parents say to themselves: “It’s time to collect my ROI.” And when their children’s season starts slowly, parents can worry that they won’t get any payback on their considerable investment in their kids’ ski racing.
Some athletes start fast. Some struggle. Others land somewhere in between. What parents say and do during this period can either support long-term enjoyment, development, and performance, or unintentionally add pressure that undermines it.
Here are a few things every ski-racing parent should keep in mind as the season begins
- results don’t predict the season. I’ve worked with countless racers who started slowly and finished strong, and just as many who peaked early and faded. Regardless, parents should help their young racers focus on the process and the fun rather than weigh their kids down with expectations and negative emotions.
- Progress is rarely linear. Ski racing is like the stock market, lots of ups and downs. But the long-term trends are always upward. One great race doesn’t mean everything is fixed. One bad race doesn’t mean something is broken. Young racers need room to struggle, adapt, and grow without feeling weighed down before every race and judged by every result.
- Your child-racer already puts too much pressure on themselves. If you add to weight of that pressure, it will crush them. Most pressure doesn’t come from parents directly saying the wrong thing (although I’ve heard plenty of that). It comes from parents’ little judge-y questions and comments that racers interpret as “I’m letting my parents down.
- Emotions speak louder than words. One of the worst things parents can do to their young racers is to feel too much. Whether elation and exultation or disappointment, frustration, or even anger, strong expressions of emotions send the message that their ski racing is REALLY important to you.
One of the greatest gifts you can give your kids is emotional equanimity. Huge success, so-so performance, or major fail on race day, you are calm, composed, supportive, and loving. Here’s a quick tip: Post-race, regardless of how your child performed, you should give your kid a hug, kiss, or fist bump, and say just one thing: “What do you want to have for lunch?”
- NEVER, EVER talk about outcome, whether results, points, rankings, or qualifications. Your child is already drowning in Live Timing, friends, fellow competitors, and other parents obsessing about results. If you need to talk about skiing with them, ask them what they did well, what they learned, how they felt. Better yet, don’t talk about skiing at all. Remember, you’re there, which sends the message that you care about their ski racing. But, by not talking about ski racing, you send an equally important message that ski racing isn’t THAT important to you.
- Remember your role. You’re your young ski racer’s parent. Not their coach. Not their friend. Their parent. In that role, you carry great power for good or for harm. Hold that power with honor and gratitude. Your child will enjoy themselves the most, perform their best, and, most importantly, gain all of the amazing life experiences and lessons that being a ski racer provides to them (and the reason why, hopefully, you got them into ski racing in the first place) if you are their rock-solid base of belief, love, and support.
The most successful and happiest racers are not those whose parents expect success from them. Instead, they are the ones whose parents are on their journey right beside them and with an arm around them. That’s the kind of parent you want to be for your ski-racing children.