I always find it amazing that love relationships ever come to fruition and sustain themselves for an extended period of time. Relationships seem so complicated, particularly those of the romantic, “I’m looking for my soulmate” variety. There are so many aspects of a relationship that determine whether it works or not. And how do we [...]
The Saturday Evening Post just published my latest Change Your Mind column titled "Life is Fragile: Say 'I Love You a Lot." Life can seem so fragile and uncertain sometimes, so it's important to let the people we love know how we feel, just in case.
To ensure that your children embrace the value of gratitude, you must immerse them in a culture of gratitude. You can do this by weaving gratitude into the very fabric of your family life. Our family has a “Mo’ Grat” ritual every evening when we sit down for dinner. In this case, it means “Moment [...]
In my last post, I described five messages that parents can send to their children to instill the value and practice of gratitude. In this post, I’ll discuss how kind words can be another means through which you can convey the importance of gratitude to your children. My family’s ‘catchphrase’ for gratitude is “Mo’ Grat,” [...]
In my last post, I introduced you to power of gratitude in the lives of children and families. In this post, I will show you how gratitude can be communicated to your children through many conduits. That' s a good thing because, maybe more than any other message, you're going to have to send the [...]
One of the most important—and often neglected—messages that you want your children to get early and often is the power of gratitude. Consider a simple "thank you." Those two words offer a win-win for the sender and the receiver of the message. A surprising and robust finding in the growing body of research that has [...]
Romantic comedies, reality TV matchmaking shows, and sitcoms aren't just entertaining (to some). Here's a scary article that describes research on how popular media is changing the way we see love. For example, people who watch shows such as The Bachelor tend to believe in love at first sight and idealize love. In contrast, watching [...]
I have two daughters, ages 8 and 6. Overall, they’re pretty good kids, generally kind and mostly cooperative. But like most children their ages, they are often stubborn, frequently resistant, and occasionally disrespectful of my wife and me. I may ask them to put their shoes on so they can leave for school in the [...]
I remember my life in my 20s and 30s when I was single. I felt invincible. Life was so carefree. I lived in the present, didn’t think much about the future, and didn’t worry too much about anything (except perhaps finding a wife). No longer. I’m well into middle age now (yikes!), married, and with [...]
I thoroughly enjoyed Gever Tully’s TED video of “5 Dangerous Things You Should Let Your Kids Do” and agree with his thesis that parents these days are far too protective of their children. Paradoxically, in parents’ well-intentioned attempts at protecting their children from harm, they actually leave them less prepared for the real dangers that your kids will face later in life. I also concur that exposing kids to a little danger can be beneficial to their development. Exposure to what are for them risky experiences, such as using power tools, fire, or a pocket knife, can build confidence, resilience, competence, respect, and responsibility, as well as develop cognitive, emotional, and motor skills that will help children as they transition into adulthood. Of course, it’s easy for Mr. Tully to make this argument when he doesn’t have kids; he doesn’t have the hard-wired “protect your children to ensure their survival” instinct kick in at the first sign of danger. Though exposing children to Mr. Tully’s tangible dangers offers many benefits, I would argue that the dangers that he wants you to expose them to are far less threatening than they actually are because the potentially harmful consequences are immediate and will surely be mitigated by a watchful—though hopefully not overly intrusive—parent. In contrast, I would suggest that you can do five things to your children that are far more “dangerous,” yet will have a far greater impact on them as they develop.
