Enlist Your External World to Unlock Positive Life Change
Anybody who has ever tried to make a significant change in their life (in other words, pretty much everyone) knows how hard it is. Old ways of thinking, feeling, and behaving, no matter how unhealthy they are or unhappy they make you, can become so deeply entrenched in our psyches that positive change seems nearly […]
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How to Resist Billions of Years of Evolution for Positive Life Change
In my last article, I described how evolution has enabled humans to adapt to a changing environment to ensure our survival as a species. I also showed how those very qualities that helped us survive can prevent us from thriving and becoming the best version of ourselves. In this article, I will explain how you […]
Read MoreWhy Evolution Prevents You from Becoming Your Best Self
Did you know that the so-called self-help industry is estimated to be worth $13.2 billion in 2022, up from $9.9 billion in 2016? What does that tell you about personal growth these days? Several observations. First, if you’ll pardon the pun, it’s a growth industry. Second, self-improvement has become a part of our cultural landscape. […]
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Unpack Your Emotional Baggage
In my last article, I explored the powerful influence of your emotional baggage on your life; it’s harmful effects on your happiness, relationships, and the pursuit of your life goals. Your response might be: “Okay, I now understand where my emotional baggage came from and how it affects me. But how do I unpack my […]
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How Emotional Baggage Starts Out Functional, Then Becomes Dysfunctional
The term “emotional baggage” has become an entrenched part of the personal-development culture. Emotional baggage is typically described as unresolved emotional issues from our childhood, including acute trauma, physical, psychological, or sexual abuse, ongoing stressors, family dysfunction, and other negative experiences, that shape our attitudes, emotions, and behavior, and detrimentally influence our current lives. Moreover, […]
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Seven Ways to Change from a Human Doing to a Human Being
My use of the phrase “human doing” may provoke in you some questions: What’s a human doing? What do human doing look and act like? Am I a human doing? This article will answer all of those questions. Plus, if you decide you are a human doing and you decide that you don’t want to […]
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Embrace Life as a Challenge to Pursue, not a Threat to Avoid
The ability to respond to our lives as a challenge separates us from our primitive forbearers because our evolved brain gives us the opportunity to resist our most basic instincts (though not easily). The fundamental goal behind the challenge response is to pause rather than act instinctively, deactivate the amygdala, engage our cerebral cortex, and […]
Read MoreDo You Perceive Life as a Threat or a Challenge?: Part I
How you act on and react to your life starts with how you look at it. I have found that a simple distinction lies at the heart of whether you adopt a mentality of negativity, fear, scarcity, and avoidance or a mindset of optimism, courage, abundance, and opportunity: Do you perceive your life as a […]
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Neither Fight nor Flight (nor Freeze) Helps Us “Survive” in Modern Times
In my last post, I described how we often view situations in our lives as life or death despite the fact that our physical lives aren’t in any danger. The evolutionary-based instinctive response to this perception is the triggering of the survival instinct followed by the fight-or-flight reaction (freeze should also be in there, but […]
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Life Shouldn’t Feel Like Life or Death
Imagine you’re about to present to your bosses and colleagues at work, take an exam in school, play in the finals of a tennis tournament, or ask someone to marry you. A man comes up to you, shows you a gun, and tells you that if you don’t succeed, he will shoot you dead. How […]
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