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Words have a powerful influence on children. What we say and the words we use impact their thinking, emotions, and behavior. Early in children\u2019s lives, emotions and behavior are the dominant forces that guide them. But as they develop their cognitive and verbal skills, words begin to play a leading role in their internal and outward lives.<\/p>\n
We live in a world where compassion seems to be in short supply. Children are bullied and cyber bullied. Homeless people are beaten. The poor are blamed for their plight. You as parents can be a part of the problem or a part of the solution. Your words can convey callousness and indifference. Or your words can communicate caring and warmth. You can use words to help your children to appreciate and instill the value of compassion in their minds and lives. One way to use words is to develop catchphrases that capture the meaning of compassion in a compelling and memorable way.<\/p>\n
The catchphrase that we use to encourage compassion in our daughters (ages 9 and almost 7) is \u201csharing is caring.\u201d I must admit that I didn\u2019t make this one up. Rather, I stole it from my good friend, Dr. Glen Galaich, who was using it with his daughter (I did get his permission to steal the phrase from him). When our girls were very young and would share with each other or someone else (or when they didn\u2019t!), we would tell them that \u201csharing is caring.\u201d As they got older and they shared (or should share), I asked them, \u201cWhy do we share?\u201d And they would respond, \u201cBecause sharing is caring.\u201d We even heard them use the catchphrase with their friends who weren\u2019t sharing. Catie and Gracie have also taken ownership of our catchphrase by being playful with it. When I ask them why we share, they will now say something like \u201cGaring is laring\u201d or \u201cHaring is maring\u201d and get a real kick out of it. But the important thing is that they know what it means. Now \u201csharing is caring\u201d has become a part of our family\u2019s vocabulary and a constant reminder of the importance of compassion and generosity.<\/p>\n
Sonya and Ned have always felt that the most important time to be compassionate is when people (children and adults) do something wrong or hurt someone. That is obviously a frequent occurrence with children, whether hitting, saying something mean, or not sharing. Their catchphrase for compassion is \u201cSorry is kind.\u201d Whenever one of their three children hurts a sibling or takes something from them, they have to say \u201cI’m sorry for [add offense here], I wasn’t being kind.\u201d Additionally, if their children physically hurt someone, they have to give them a gentle touch as well.<\/p>\n
Rose believes that compassion arises from empathy, so she created a catchphrase, \u201cFeel what they feel,\u201d to help her son understand how others may feel when he isn’t kind. Whenever he did something that was unkind, for example, not sharing, she would say the catchphrase and then ask him \u201cHow would you feel if you wanted to play with a friend’s toy, but he didn\u2019t want to share with you?\u201d and \u201cHow would your friend feel if you shared with her?\u201d<\/p>\n
Ellen and Kristo also believe that empathy is the key to compassion and use a catchphrase with the same meaning as Rose’s. When their two daughters start blaming each other for something, Ellen and Kristo tell them to \u201cWalk in their shoes.\u201d The idea is that if they can put on their sister’s shoes, they can see her perspective and understand why she is reacting as she is. One of the funniest things that emerged out of this catchphrase is that, on several occasions, the two sisters actually exchange shoes and the conflict was resolved.<\/p>\n
You are welcome to use one of the catchphrases described above. Or, better yet, create a catchphrase that has special meaning to your family. In either case, the power of the catchphrase is to weave it into the fabric of your family\u2019s lives and use it often.<\/p>\n