{"id":4867,"date":"2013-07-08T11:51:59","date_gmt":"2013-07-08T18:51:59","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/drjimtaylor.com\/2.0\/?p=4867"},"modified":"2013-07-08T11:51:59","modified_gmt":"2013-07-08T18:51:59","slug":"f-it-get-the-attitude-that-will-set-you-free","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.drjimtaylor.com\/4.0\/f-it-get-the-attitude-that-will-set-you-free\/","title":{"rendered":"\u201cF&%# It!\u201d: Get the Attitude that Will Set You Free"},"content":{"rendered":"

In my last post<\/a>, I introduced you to my notion of \u201cmindblocks,\u201d a portmanteau that plays off of the psychological nature of these issues and the term roadblocks. In this post, I will describe to you the attitude that can help you free yourself from your mindblocks and liberate you to create the life that you want most.<\/p>\n

I want to begin this post that has such an irreverent and unprintable title by apologizing for it. I\u2019m not one to use profanity frequently and, in many instances, it can certainly distract from the message you\u2019re trying to send or simply sends the wrong message. At the same time, there are times when \u201cGosh darn it!\u201d or \u201cDrat!\u201d just doesn\u2019t do justice to your emotions. In these cases, some well-placed profanity can best express the intensity of what you are feeling and communicate with prism-like clarity what you\u2019re trying to say.<\/p>\n

If you\u2019re uncomfortable with my use of \u201cf&%# it!,\u201d whenever you come across it in this post, mentally replace it with something that is a little less abrasive to your sensibilities. Some people I know prefer to substitute it with \u201cscrew it\u201d which carries much of the same meaning, but is, nonetheless, more palatable for those with an aversion to coarse language. Plus, its use is acceptable in most crowds. If \u201cscrew it\u201d still offends your moral compass, other options, such as \u201cWho cares,\u201d \u201cLet it go,\u201d or \u201cWhatever,\u201d may work for you.<\/p>\n

What you choose to call it is less important than the concept that it represents, namely, the idea that you need to let go of excessive concerns that have forced you to live a life that isn\u2019t your own and that prevents you from pursuing your life with gusto and without apprehension or hesitancy.<\/p>\n

What is the \u201cF&%# It!\u201d Attitude?<\/strong><\/p>\n

Let me begin my explanation of what the \u201cf&%#-it!\u201d attitude is by describing what it is not. This attitude doesn\u2019t mean not caring about yourself, other people, your career, or anything else in your life. It doesn\u2019t mean not trying your best or giving up. It by no means suggests that you should surrender in any way to the seeming inevitability of your life. And the \u201cf&%#-it!\u201d attitude definitely doesn\u2019t mean bailing out on life; quitting your job, selling all of your worldly possessions, and moving to a deserted island.<\/p>\n

To the contrary, the \u201cf&%#-it!\u201d attitude enables you to engage more deeply in your life. It liberates you to do so because, at the heart of the \u201cf&%#-it!\u201d attitude, is being able to let go of excessive attachment to the consequences of your actions. In other words, it means not caring too much about your successes and failures, your loves and rejections, your emotional highs and lows. The \u201cf&%#-it!\u201d attitude involves being absorbed in the experience of life and being able to accept whatever life presents to you. The \u201cf&%#-it!\u201d attitude reminds me of the Rudyard Kipling poem If\u2026<\/em>:<\/p>\n

If you can keep your head when all about you
\nAre losing theirs and blaming it on you,
\nIf you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,
\nBut make allowance for their doubting too;
\nIf you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
\nOr being lied about, don\u2019t deal in lies,
\nOr being hated, don\u2019t give way to hating,
\nAnd yet don\u2019t look too good, nor talk too wise:<\/p>\n

If you can dream\u2014and not make dreams your master;
\nIf you can think\u2014and not make thoughts your aim;
\nIf you can meet with Triumph and Disaster
\nAnd treat those two impostors just the same;
\nIf you can bear to hear the truth you\u2019ve spoken
\nTwisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
\nOr watch the things you gave your life to, broken,
\nAnd stoop and build \u2019em up with worn-out tools:<\/p>\n

If you can make one heap of all your winnings
\nAnd risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
\nAnd lose, and start again at your beginnings
\nAnd never breathe a word about your loss;
\nIf you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
\nTo serve your turn long after they are gone,
\nAnd so hold on when there is nothing in you
\nExcept the Will which says to them: \u201cHold on!\u201d<\/p>\n

If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,
\nOr walk with Kings\u2014nor lose the common touch,
\nIf neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you,
\nIf all men count with you, but none too much;
\nIf you can fill the unforgiving minute
\nWith sixty seconds\u2019 worth of distance run,
\nYours is the Earth and everything that\u2019s in it,
\nAnd\u2014which is more\u2014you\u2019ll be a man, my son!<\/p>\n

With the \u201cf&%#-it!\u201d attitude, you give up expectations, both internal and external, self-imposed and outside pressure, and any pre-occupation with \u201cwhat should be\u201d or \u201cwhat might happen if.\u2019 You are not driven by fear or doubt or any other negative thoughts or emotions that can prevent you from engaging yourself fully and without hesitation in your life. You are able to throw yourself completely and with absolute vigor into everything you do, whether relationships, school, work, sports, whatever, because the only thing that could hold you back\u2014failure!\u2014is no longer an existential threat, but rather one possible outcome that, should it occur, you can live with.<\/p>\n

The \u201cf&%#-it!\u201d attitude means that you will embrace every opportunity that life presents to you and, at the end of a day, year, career, or on your death bed, you will have no regrets because you \u201cleft it all out there.\u201d<\/p>\n

When you embrace the \u201cf&%#-it!\u201d attitude, you experience something that I call \u201ccomplete freedom\u201d in your life. Complete freedom involves knowing what you don\u2019t want and freeing yourself from those mindblocks that I describe in my previous post that have forced your life along its current unsatisfying and possibly self-destructive path. Complete freedom also means knowing what you want and propelling yourself along a new and fulfilling path toward that which you seek to:<\/p>\n

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