{"id":16895,"date":"2023-10-04T14:17:06","date_gmt":"2023-10-04T21:17:06","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.drjimtaylor.com\/4.0\/?p=16895"},"modified":"2025-06-23T12:54:07","modified_gmt":"2025-06-23T12:54:07","slug":"8-perceptions-to-nurture-your-relationships","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.drjimtaylor.com\/4.0\/8-perceptions-to-nurture-your-relationships\/","title":{"rendered":"8 Perceptions That Nurture Your Relationships"},"content":{"rendered":"

In my last article<\/a> about the perceptions that impact our relationships, I explored the \u201c11 Perceptions that Sabotage Your Relationships.\u201d In this article, I will consider the eight perceptions that you can embrace that will help you initiate and nurture healthy relationships.<\/p>\n

Perception #1: I am worthy of love.<\/strong><\/p>\n

This perception is the foundation of everything you do that will enable you to experience life-affirming relationships. Without this perception, you will either not attempt to initiate a relationship, begin an unhealthy relationship, or sabotage a relationship you are currently in.<\/p>\n

Unfortunately, our toxic popular culture has conditioned you to believe that you are only worthy of love if you are physically attractive, wealthy, successful, famous, powerful, or popular, among other unhealthy limiters. In reality, you are deserving of love simply because of who you are, what you value, and how you treat others. You have a right to be respected, appreciated, valued, and, yes, loved for you just being you. When you welcome these perceptions into your psyche, you open up all that is possible in finding the loving relationship you seek.<\/p>\n

Perception #2: Rejection is not a reflection of my value as a person.<\/strong><\/p>\n

There\u2019s no doubt that putting your heart into another\u2019s hands is a risk that may not be rewarded. And there is also no doubt that rejection can be the most painful of life\u2019s \u201cfailures.\u201d Hurt, sadness, guilt, shame, embarrassment, frustration, and anger are among the emotions<\/a> that can feel like a tsunami drowning you in the pain of rejection. But it doesn\u2019t have to be that way.<\/p>\n

Yes, it\u2019s natural to feel bad when you get rejected, but the intensity of those ill feelings will depend on how much you personalize the rejection. If you take the rejection as a personal failure<\/a> that reflects your lack of value as a person, your emotions may be devastating, long lasting, and cause problems in future relationships because it reinforces unhealthy perceptions you already hold about yourself.<\/p>\n

At the same time, if you see the rejection as a failure of the situation (e.g., \u201cthey just weren\u2019t the right person for me\u201d or \u201cwe just weren\u2019t the right fit\u201d), then your feelings about the rejection will still make you feel bad because it is still a rejection when you might have had hopes or expectations about the relationship. But the intensity of those emotions will be more manageable, won\u2019t last long, or be damaging long-term because you don\u2019t personalize it as a judgment on your value as a person or as a partner.<\/p>\n

Perception #3: If I am rejected, I will be okay.<\/strong><\/p>\n

This perception is also of vital importance to your ability to initiate and nurture healthy relationships. Once you accept that opening your heart to someone is risky and may result in rejection that will cause you to experience some unpleasant emotions, the next step is to truly believe that, in time, you will be okay. You will still perceive yourself to be a person worthy of love. As a result, you understand, at a deep and visceral level, that you will survive the rejection and the accompanying painful emotions, those emotions will fade, and they won\u2019t scar you for life. And, importantly, with this perception, the rejection won\u2019t prevent you from pursuing healthy relationships in the future.<\/p>\n

Perception #4: I must be emotionally vulnerable to connect with people.<\/strong><\/p>\n

If you can embrace the first three perceptions, you will free yourself to take the risk of being emotionally vulnerable<\/a> with someone else. You\u2019re able to be emotionally open because you accept that you may get hurt and, as expressed in Perception #3, you will be okay. Thus, you will not feel compelled to protect yourself by avoiding a potentially meaningful relationship, entering into an unhealthy relationship, or sabotage one that you are currently in.<\/p>\n

An essential part of this perception is the realization that being emotionally vulnerable is the only way that you will ever establish and be able to maintain a healthy relationship. Another key aspect of this perception is that most people are reluctant to open themselves up emotionally to others, so if you do, you invite those who are capable of being vulnerable to reciprocate.<\/p>\n

Perception #5: It\u2019s better to risk rejection and find love than to protect myself and never give myself the chance.<\/strong><\/p>\n

In some ways, this perception involves a risk\/reward calculus. As I\u2019ve discussed, there is a significant risk to opening yourself up to another person. At the same time, the reward can be truly life changing. When you consider a relationship, do you focus on what might go wrong or what might go right? Can you accept the possibility of rejection, knowing you\u2019ll be okay, thus freeing you pursue a relationship that you feel good about?<\/p>\n

The challenge with this perception is that you aren\u2019t likely going to have to risk rejection once. Rather, for most of us, it takes from several to many times risking rejection before we find our soulmate. To get through what could be multiple rejections and not take it personally, you must stay committed to Perception #1 and maintain a long-term perspective on finding the relationship that you want so deeply.<\/p>\n

Perception #6: I actively nurture my relationships.<\/strong><\/p>\n

By incorporating the above perceptions into your ways of thinking, feeling, and living, you give yourself the freedom to take control of how you interact in a relationship and actively nurture it. Rather than being driven by fear, doubt, or worry, you are able to choose the best path in a relationship. And that choice involves looking for ways that you can cultivate the relationship, whether how you think about your involvement or what you can do to encourage your partner to go \u201call in.\u201d<\/p>\n

A key part of taking control of your relationships is to understand what may take you down the \u201cbad road\u201d (think emotional baggage), what the \u201cgood road\u201d looks like, and making a deliberate choice to take the road that will lead you to your goal of being in a healthy, loving, and life-affirming relationship.<\/p>\n

Perception #7: My open heart will attract the right person for me.<\/strong><\/p>\n

This perception is about trust in yourself, knowing that you have much to offer another person in a committed relationship. When you open your heart, you send out energy to the world about who you are, what you want in a partner, what you can give to a partner, and what kind of relationship you are looking for.<\/p>\n

You also have a fundamental faith that your efforts will be rewarded. This faith is so important because, as you well know, the risks that we take aren\u2019t often immediately rewarded. This faith is also predicated on the belief that your soulmate is out there (and there may be more than one, thus increasing your chances) and that, because they are attuned to your energy, they will come into your life when you and they are ready.<\/p>\n

Perception #8: I am committed to pursuing the deepest connections possible in my life.<\/strong><\/p>\n

The previous seven perceptions culminate in your making a deep and lasting commitment to experiencing meaning, fulfillment, and love in your relationships and your life. This commitment means doing what is necessary to continuing to explore the deepest regions of your psyche, challenge old and unhealthy ways of thinking, feeling, and behaving, and expressing the best version of yourself for the world to see.<\/p>\n

This perception is powerful in that it helps you resist forces that might pull you down the \u201cbad\u201d road propelled by old and unhealthy needs, drives, and compulsions. It is also resilient in that this perception helps you to stay on the \u201cgood\u201d road in the face of rejections and poor choices as you search for your soulmate and the love that you both deserve and are capable of experiencing, sharing, and receiving.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

In my last article about the perceptions that impact our relationships, I explored the \u201c11 Perceptions that Sabotage Your Relationships.\u201d In this article, I will consider the eight perceptions that you can embrace that will help you initiate and nurture healthy relationships. Perception #1: I am worthy of love. This perception is the foundation of […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":18837,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"inline_featured_image":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[1518,1520],"tags":[374,88,1806,29,1807,375],"class_list":["post-16895","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-personal-growth","category-psychology","tag-personal-growth-2","tag-positive-psychology","tag-rejection-heartbreak","tag-relationships","tag-self-esteem-emotional-vulnerability","tag-self-help"],"acf":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.drjimtaylor.com\/4.0\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/16895","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.drjimtaylor.com\/4.0\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.drjimtaylor.com\/4.0\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.drjimtaylor.com\/4.0\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.drjimtaylor.com\/4.0\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=16895"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/www.drjimtaylor.com\/4.0\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/16895\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":18838,"href":"https:\/\/www.drjimtaylor.com\/4.0\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/16895\/revisions\/18838"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.drjimtaylor.com\/4.0\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/18837"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.drjimtaylor.com\/4.0\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=16895"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.drjimtaylor.com\/4.0\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=16895"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.drjimtaylor.com\/4.0\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=16895"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}